by Idaho Chubbs
Speed kills...and I like it. I came down to Hades for a really good show tonight, and boy did the shrill siren song of elementary school vocals SLAY. "Whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh" (sing-song) "Little shop, little shop of horrors, bop shoo bop, you'll never stop the terror" (sing-song).....It's amusing seeing a world famous celebrity play a venue that "The Throwbacks" have played a million times before. The blinding light of painful joy shined down on me as I strode to the bar to pick up a Nectar. Avast yee Britney! flirted yea hostile with me as I tried to procure the savory liquid. I (Chubbs) brushed against her Exeter material t-shirt and cast her aside not realizing her flirtation. As the Nectar flew to my parched throat I realized she was most fetching and was attempting to (in the fleet of a Clausen's mind-eye) gain my attention. My bearded cheek bones (filled with granite Kevlar) paid no mind, but my gleeful ego was born anew for a brief moment….and then it was gone. I recovered by seeing Jezebel's smile and settled in to the froth of the crowd. The whole night seemed like an obtuse dichotomy that swept me into a Halloween coma; yet made me sure that I was not doing enough in life. Seeing "Half Nelson" a first down away from me, made realize that I really needed an Oscar nomination to experiment and have strangers cheer for my indulgences. The sound was the quality of Sloor and there were many humans that did not appreciate the soulful mix of dark depression + The Mickey Mouse Club. But the music was fun and raw. I danced, I sang, I shifted my hips into Cha-terunga pose. I even found a lavatory in Hades that catered to me. Art is an anomaly, and as my bevy of Britneys waited for Gosling to show afterwards (even though they didn't care?); I realized that we all have to become famous...just a little bit. We all have to pay our dues in Sloor dance troops and find our way into Space Mountain's production of "Remember The Titans". Then....andddd...only then can we cross into the realm of success and be independently (film, music, writing, art) happy. "You'll be a dennntisttt--you'll be a dentist--you'll have the TALENT for causing people PAIN---PAIN!!!" (sing-song)
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