by Idaho Chubbs
Hear ye! Hear ye! Scowling Stoned Clooney serves as Handsome Nemesis for Snuggy clad Third Amigo and Jack Donaghy. I swear Jane Seymour had her hand on Jay Bateman's inner thigh the whole ceremony ("He just gets cuter and cuter"). NPH is my new AKON...Not really, and The dance crews win for best interpretation of the orgasmic artistry that is the fluffy "take-flight" morning dew of the gods...Nectar. Their limbs were limberer than any Navi warrior could ever dream , in REAL LIFE! I swear I thought I was watching hundreds of M. Bisons (Street-Fighter video game) get their dance-on all at the same time. Was Zach Efron wearing a faux-hawked raccoon on his head? And Why does Kristen Stewart insist on not looking good. Efron was probably hotter than her even with the sloor-nest hair. Seeing old wise sage Tolstoy playing Chris Plummer made me want to see young virile hot “Sound of Music” Von Trap Plummer (I wonder if I’ll ever read Anna Karnininininnnna?). And Is Sir Dame Mistress Helen Mirren the sexiest creature on earth? Apparently Michael “I can’t believe Beckinsale left me—we have a kid together—for the director of Underworld” Sheen and the rest of the acting world think so. I will be the judge of that when I have a private viewing of CALIGULA later tonight. But one thing I do know is that Johnny Utah's facial hair was naturally gifted with creativity and the real HOT! HOT! HOT! older woman of the Oscar hour was Kathryn Bigelow. She's like totally 60...WHAAAAAA!!!??? I loved seeing our favorite LOST Freighter time-traveling brain-bleeder George Minkowski win for his hard hitting doc on dolphin “blood-letting”. Were tuna involved? I hope not. How cocky is Tony Stark now with his dark aqua tie and Fellini reading sunglasses? T2000 is pouring a box of heroin in his “old fashioned” to bring him back down to earth. I wonder if Jeremy Renner was like, "We're talking about me in S.W.A.T? WTF? Can Colin and I just forget we ever did that piece of celluloid sloor?" Geese…I’m super glad Zoe Saldana starved herself for three months before last night, looking extra anorexic in her attempt to win The Best T2000/Jada Pinkett-Smith Look-A-Like Award (pssst, but she was still hot). Speaking of which, did “Star Trek” win best make-up for giving Syler from “Heroes” a bowl hair-cut, some fake Spock ears, and for drawing some angular lines on pre-reboot Bruce Banner’s (Eric Bana) face and then call it a day? Standards are slipping I guess. Complaint - Where was Russell (bleep, bloop, bleep) from UP and why does the world let Randy Newman still work in film or any industry for that matter? Inglorious Basterds should have won everything but at least The Dude got to TOTALLY abide. White Russian Chip Nectar liquid grass was flowing last night indeed.
No comments:
Post a Comment