by Idaho Chubbs"Don't you know you got your Daddy's eyes, Daddy was an alcoholic." And so am I. Am I a writer for real Gepetto? Acoholic? YES, writer? NO. Fuck him, he knows I created Pinnochio. The Delorean can travel back in fiction as well...Take that Salinger! I'm going to save Holden's little bro! ANYWAY on to this weekend's college Brodarian Rules Football antics. Man, Fall is kicking into high-gear, the leaves are turning a WASPy Orange (which I squeeze with my JGL forearms into an added "special" "shot" of Sloor mucus, chasing it with a Nectar, of course; my life-blood). The air is so thick with a burning crisp oblivion that reminds me of what it is to be happy, yet tells my pscho-analytical brain waves, "Life is beautiful; you should kill yourself again before the Delorean does...AGAIN. ZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! Was Bobby Knight playing QB (Elizabeth Bennett-style) for the Hoosiers today? Tru-Froshmen Tate Forcier came to play...and barely won. The Wolverines are suspect even though Jackman's jackedness is SO not (loved you in THE FOUNTAIN bro, "You see AUSTRALIA? I Nicole Kidman now"). So I was watching Project Runway the other night. The contestants had to make outfits out of newspaper that fit the movie genre of their choosing. Personally I would have just created Jean Seberg (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0781029/) literally, out of newspaper. But what struck me was this amazing green dress that gave credence to my Oregon Ducks mind cavity. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHEEEHEEE---CHAMONA! The past whatever many years, their unis have looked like something Bowser from Mario Cart would wear out to a red carpet event. But wouldn't you fucking know it, today they wore the Pre-Fontaine/Ward Melvile High School throw-backs that brought tears to my eyes. They also sasasasaslaughtered Cal-Berkeley. Go hug an Obama-laden hemp tree Jahvid Best, you and Jacory Harris are going to need that kind of high tonight. MIAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!.....WTSLOOR!!! UGH...ugh, "Oh no it's RAINING!!! All of my frosted, dreaded tips are getting wet and muddy" FUCKING GET A PAIR OF NEWMANS! LOOK AT KURT WARNER! God believes in sticky fucking gloves!!! Enough, that loss hurt. At least The fighting Irish pulled off another close win. I played for Knute my freshman year before I transferred to USC to complete my internship with Sir Charles Chaplin and I bleeeeed Guinness, and Nectar, and Burgundy and Gold and uh, I guess a million other colleges I went to through my time travels....stop talking to yourself Chubbs! BLAAA, Clausen is my savior, not really; Notre Dame is pedestrian, just like the Hurricanes, just like Florida State. Is the second best team in Florida, South....Florida? Oh yeah, Penn State can suck it too. Way to get revenge for last year, Sloors. USC will come back like always. I predict Matt Barkeley will win the Heisman, anddddd.....with that win he will be able to perform "Defoe Thrusts" on any choice of song girls...with their consent of course. Is Sam Bradford in Hades eating a Joseph Smith Italian sub? Nectar is my be, although I really feel like a "Medicinal Tebow". Stay Jesus my friend...................?
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